Tuesday
Oct302012

Connection

Connection

 

Today as we were doing our grateful list before bed, I veered into a new topic about a sew set for my dd for winter solstice. As I mentioned winter solstice, she chimed in by pointing in the closet and talking about her christmas solstice. In that exact moment I was struck with the intensity of how much we (and little ones in particular) seek out connection. THIS is how we work together as a species. This is how we have meaning in life. This is how we discover who we are. Boom. It is through interacting with others and our world that we discover who we are. What we do. What our place is in the world.

 

Now let's go back. As infants we need attachment, secure attachment. We need to know that we are connected to something--energetically we connect to our mother (or main caregiver) to ground us out. To ground us to the earth because we are so fresh and new to this planet that we are not solidly here.

 

Next we have the emotional components. To attain a secure attachment we then can acquire psychological health. We learn Trust over Mistrust (erickson theories). We again learn who we are. We learn through energetic exchanges (including from close contact as well as not). We learn through observance. We learn through feeling. When we are securely attached we can feel safe. The feeling of safety aids anyone in any situation. If one feels safe in a situation they are able to soar higher; to be themselves to a truer degree.

 

And this leads us back to connection. When we connect with others we not only share and bond, we create safety for one another. In some situations we even create Sacred Space. It is through this space in which we are allowed to flourish and live to our highest potential as humans.

 


The sad side: So many are fearful of connection. Fearful of love. And out of this fear a person may act out and ruin any chance of connection by hurting another (and most likely themselves) in some fashion to destroy connection. Others may retreat and avoid any instance where connection can exist.

 

So, as I end this rant, I observe that I would like to embrace all of the opportunities for pure joy connection in my life. I realize that I am so very grateful for this awareness brought to me by a three year old. I want to do what I can to foster connection and safety with my child(ren). And I wish for everyone to be tickled with some love moments in the next coming days :)

Sunday
Apr082012

Power Solar Plexus

Ahhhhh. (That's me taking a deep breath as I enter back into my body). Throughout my life I have had many a lesson in holding onto my personal power. Time and time again, I would/will give my power to another person for the sake of making them happy, thinking I can control a situation, or because they request it from me. This action has not served myself nor the other person. (yet I still had/have a pattern of doing this). Now, why am I talking about this?

I am talking about this for a few reasons. I would like to mention some observations I have made in my life. I want to share what my experience was and I want to share what has happened recently. I indirectly want to motivate people to take some time to check in with their own solar plexus and see if they are holding their power in a healthy way or if they are giving it away. And I want to remind everyone that they are amazing and powerful!

As a bodyworker I made observations about people. One recurring theme I saw among pregnant women was a shift in their solar plexus. More specifically, a tension or a hollowness. This always made sense to me because the solar plexus is an energetic center that focuses on the "self." And what happens when we are pregnant?-we are no longer just our self; we have another being to give our nutrients, energy, attention, love etc etc. Not only do we have this other being to dedicate our being to, but we are about to Transition. Especially for first time mothers, this is a huge transition: Maiden to Momma. Taking on this new role is going to shake up the sense of "self." (This can happen whether the pregnancy was planned or not). [Who are you now that you are a mom? What kind of a mother are you going to be? What is your role in the greater scheme of things now? How are you impacting the world?]

To shift to a more positive note for a minute, Pregnancy can be beautifully Empowering! It is a time to nurture this chakra and allow it to grow and expand; to amplify the woman that is becoming a mother. This empowerment is what I would wish upon every pregnant woman if I could wave my magic wand and make things the way I want--"presto chango, all pregnant woman are in their power and are connected to their inner goddess at all times-woo!" When I see this in pregnant women it is so so so beautiful! It is seeing a woman energetically balanced as well as in a beautiful state of being.

Sigh, back to the imbalances...With the women that had Tension, I noticed a Resistance or a Struggle with this transition. An overall desire for control as well as fear and an inability to relax. Now, when I say this, I do not mean that every woman that had tension in this region had all of these 'issues.' I simply mean that these were some themes that I encountered.

For the women with Hollowness-these were the ones that had a knack for giving their power away. This was Me. Though I had many moments of feeling very empowered throughout my pregnancy, I often caught myself worrying about others and myself. I would give away my power to please others and try to smooth over things in my environment. I also would give it away to my worries, to authorities and the list goes on. I was giving away my energy when I needed it the most, for myself and my little one. (This action can also be one of control; for one reason to give away power is to have control over the situation(s) at hand).

Now where am I? [also, where are you ;) ;)]
Well, there is so much more to the solar plexus connection when regarding parenting. But, to make this a shorter piece, I'm going to generalize. (and I will write all about holding my power and how that benefits my parenting as well as my child in each moment as well as her future some other time).

It took the first year to acclimate to my new role and finally begin to call my power back. It was at year 2 that I finally felt like I was stepping into my power. And now, I am at the point where interesting challenges are coming up and reiterating that I benefit by holding my power. As I interact with people, I see the difference of when I am in my power and when I am giving it away. An example of this is giving another person authority over an aspect of your life. They do not have that authority unless you give it to them. Another example is one that I encountered recently: a person was trying to engage me into a heated argument for the sake of living out their own drama and beliefs about themselves. It felt so good to be able to hold my power-to feel grounded and at peace as comments and ideas were thrown at me. Living your truth is living from your power center. It is This that connects us to our life purpose.

You are powerful. It is beautiful. Hold your power and amplify your being so that you can impact the world exactly as you are intended.

 

Saturday
Apr072012

touch and quality time

Today I was in the midst of accomplishing quite a few things on my to do list when I was beckoned for a nursing session. During this time, I was overcome with awareness for the importance of this touch and connection. It made me think of other relationships, particularly those of a romantic or life partner nature.

It's so easy to get wrapped up in day to day activities that taking the time to really connect and spend time touching one another gets pushed to the side. When I think of this, I think of touch that doesn't intentionally lead to sexual activity: holding hands, snuggling, massage, and simply just be'ing in one anothers energetic space, without wanting to be somewhere else.

As I continued with my thought process, I saw how touching is linked with quality time. I was then reminded of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I personally feel connected with all 5 of the languages yet I do hold certain ones of higher value (often at different times). [I, coincidentally, posted a chart on my fb pg pertaining to children and their love language recently-must be on my radar these days. It's been a Long time since I've actually read the book].

Quality time can be spent simply doing things with another person, however, it is often that we gain quality time when we are spending time touching one another as well. Sure you can squeeze in little touches here and there to reiterate and share that love language if that is a person's dominant language, yet if you are taking the time to do extra touching, like snuggling-then you are also incorporating quality time.

As I connect all of these dots, I feel I am learning even more about my dd and how to communicate unconditional love to her. These two things are of great importance in our relationship thus far, and I plan to continue to foster them.

To give more attention to touch as a single thing: touch in and of itself, is so very powerful. We live in a very individualistic society and many of us are touch deprived. Jack Canfield says that a person needs 12 hugs a day for personal growth and development.
This is one reason why I enjoy doing massage; I get to give healing touch to so many people (that may not have even received a hug that day). Being touched can create hormonal balance and clear pent up negative emotions. The power of touch may be why so many are terrified of it. 

I also see in my own life, how much healthier and balanced I am when I am receiving touch. It definitely fills my love tank and that in turn increases my self esteem and my ability to be a positive beam of light for the rest of the world!

So, what is your love language?
What is your child(ren)'s?
Have you received your hugs today?

Thursday
Apr052012

gonna do differently

oh ya know, I'm not one to really regret anything. I have always said that it does not serve me to regret life actions. I also would like to believe that I trust in the universe and that all moments are divinely guided in some way shape or form.

However, (yikes, I said it-however), there are some things that I will like to do differently in subsequent pregnancies that I have. Do I regret my first pregnancy actions-Nope. But I do look forward to doing things even mo' bettah ;)

So, what are they?.......

1) no gluten.
I am pretty sensitive to gluten and despite knowing this I caved to many of my glutenous cravings during pregnancy. I now know more about gut health than I did then, and I feel this was a big hinderance to my immune system during this sensitive time (pregnancy and the first yr of nursing before I eliminated it completely again).  This also could have hindered my ability to absorb nutrients.

 

2) other nutrition stuff
Next time: more magnesium during pregnancy, as well as D. My first step next time will be to have my D levels checked and then supplement accordingly (as well as get some more sun-woo hoo!) And I will take more epsom salt baths next time around.

3) Forego Vit K supplement and boost my diet the third tri with things like alfalfa

4) De-stress
This should actually be Number ONE. I had quite a bit of flexibility throughout pregnancy number one and depending on how you look at things, it was pretty chill. However, there were components that put me in a constant state of fear and this, I say, is Bad news. My future pregnancies will be much more peaceful. I will be in a Love space much more often than a Fear space. (this is extra important to me for my little one, to not start off life with trauma or adrenal stress-oiy!).

5) Detox prior to conceiving
If it is possible to do before, I would like to do some detoxing to make sure metals are not in my system as well as having my internal organs happy with me. I feel like I had so much fear which drained my kidney meridian and then taxed my liver meridian that I then had more anger than I normally would have through the first year (or more) of my little ones life. As I state that, yes I'm talking about energy lines versus internal organs, however I feel they are all connected, and to cleanse my physical liver will also aid in staving off anger. Also, keeping my kidneys strong (which I tried to do throughout last pregnancy as well) is important to me---pau d'arco tea, mmmmm. and water mmmmm.

6) yoga and dance and music
I have maintained yoga routines for random durations of time and I want to make sure that I am in the middle of one when I conceive again, for I want that to be a regular component of my pregnancy. I also danced some last time, but I want More. I will incorporate a Lot of music in my life in future pregnancies. I do not feel I had enough with number one. Music heals my soul and makes me feel connected and alive, and the combination of these three things is exactly what I want as a Momma.